Toddlers, tantrums and vibes...

For the past four months, I’ve been working in my mom’s crèche. How I was semi-tricked into it is a story for another day but keep in mind: African parents will get their way one way or the other.

My job description was to help the toddlers out with their pre-school work. ABCs, 123s, that type of thing. I still think it’s a miracle I’m coming out of it with my head intact because sometimes, I just couldn’t…can. There was always so much going on from hyperactive toddlers climbing everything in sight to them constantly coming to report each other for literally non-existent reasons. 

Here are some of the things I had to constantly deal with, being a crèche worker:

All that repetition!

Oh my god! I could repeat a thing like 10 times AND THEY STILL WOULDN’T GET IT! The worst was whenever I made them repeat stuff after me and they’d keep going, but once I left it to them they’d just regress into the state of ignorance they were in before I started teaching them. Those interactions usually went like this:

Me: Letter "A" sounds "Ah"

Them: Letter "A" sounds "Ah!"

This goes on maybe 10 times

Me: Okay, letter "A" sounds…

Them: …

Me: Letter "A" sounds…

Them: …

Me: *with a stern face* Letter "A" sounds!

Them: "B"

Their short attention spans

Goldfishes have nothing on these young kings and queens.

Another thing I had to deal with was their short attention spans. My god! These young royalties would sometimes just drop the pencil and say “I’m tired.”

And I’m just there like…it’s been twenty minutes fam. COME ON.

The thing is you really can’t force them to learn anything when they’ve categorically told you they’re done. Try forcing them and they just look at you like

Their petty behaviours

Kids are so petty it’s hilarious. In one particularly interesting instance of pettiness on display, we used all of the classroom time for consolations.

I had three kids to work with, and there was a particular one who always got mad whenever I took my attention off her. I’m talking hit-your-head-on-the-table-so-they-can-notice-you kind of mad. Babies being babies, the others started copying that behaviour. So on that day, someone fell off her chair. I picked her up and consoled her, then the second kid, angry about not getting my attention threw herself off her chair. I had to drop the kid I was carrying, pick this second kid up and console her. While this was going on, the third kid threw himself off his chair.

That’s how I spent close to an hour rotating consolations and trying to prevent them from injuring themselves. 

Not a single letter of the alphabet was learnt that day. 

Kids really are something. Another fascinating thing I got to see was how much parents really worry about their kids. The way they approached matters concerning their kids was hilarious sometimes. I remember nearly rolling on the floor when the mother of a one-year-old asked us what field her son seemed to be tending towards. I mean, he can't even talk!

A particularly funny episode was when a mum wanted to get a talking drum so we (at the crèche) could drum for her kid. We just looked at her like

Really though, I had a great time and I got to meet some really amazing parents and kids. Working in the crèche turned out to be more fun than I expected because the toddlers totally kept me entertained with new stunts every day.

Within those months, I had moments when I wanted to hug all of them and carry them everywhere (I usually had to carry two at a time to prevent fights anyway) and there were days when I wanted to just lock myself up in a room because they were so exasperating. Those people who said kids are a different breed, they weren’t wrong at all.

In all of it, they’re absolute cuties and my time working at the crèche made me realise that indeed, kids are a gift and I'm going to miss these ones. This is why I will be a great aunt to my nieces, nephews and two godchildren.

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